Strawhat's Cook

torosiken:

I am “fine” for now. Things are ok. My parents are in debts, but I still manage- I have my own savings and I still get some each month, so it’s cool. Their problem is not really my problem, as much as I am worried about it.

I stopped going to psycholog, however because said reasons. I find out something about myself by accident(before anyone said self-diagnosis is bad, i really going to say this thing fits more than anything else I’ve been diagnosed with- and helped me way way better and faster than any other list.) that was not in my mental problem list from psycholog, so I’ve been collecting more datas about my recent discovery and it has been helping out a LOT- much better than the other self-help methods because apparently this is the method I needed all these time.

I am thinking to go to psycholog one last time to at least confirm and ask for more guidance around next month with my own savings. But everything is under control and I’m fine. Been much stable-r lately. Been trying to recite a lot and write down my own symptoms so I can just give them it all in one go. I am still not feeling right to talk about it to people(or talking to people in general), so for now I am only telling about it to close friends and closing anonymous/PM(unless someone I follow) for the time being.

I am still worried about money however, because I can’t live off dad’s debt. But I decide to focus on finishing university first before finding some fixed job. Found some freelances of course, but I am a bit worried on handling it together with thesis and with my on-and-off hand problem. But everything is good, I suppose.

I feel sorry for everyone I caused trouble to in the past year, either it was snapping or anything basically. I don’t expect anyone to “forgive”, and all of you can feel free to walk away from me anytime if it takes too much of mental toll even just watching me destroying myself over and over.

Things are still some struggle with me mentally, but it’s all cool now. I never feel fresher than this in my life.

Thank you for everyone who stays and give support (I am still surprised
when some people still bother to PM me, though I shoo most of them away
in that unstable condition- thank you very much and I am really sorry,
really) wether it’s PM or even some ko-fi (REALLY. SERIOUSLY. THANK YOU.
I was TRULY SURPRISED!)

This is a long post, but I really feel like giving an update for what has happened.

So, finally- I can officially state that I am back! For reals. Still busy, but I am “BACK” home for now baby ;D

And I am looking forward for the next new adventures that awaits us!

So, I am looking forward for it!!